What is Self Care?
And why is everyone telling me to do it?
the term has become so popular that many of us have lost track of what it actually means in practice.
There is a significant shift in awareness and acceptance of our mental health. We are finally working toward shedding the stigma and normalizing the importance of taking care of our emotional wellbeing. There is a lot of talk of “self care” . . . but what does that actually mean? The term has become so mainstream that I regularly get an eye roll from clients when I ask about their self care practice. When I look through social media, self care is often portrayed as yoga, a face mask, and a bubble bath. Maybe for you that is part of your self care practice, but I’d like to broaden the definition of “self care” a bit . . .
Self care means I am prioritizing
my wellbeing.
Self care may look like boundary setting. It may be an act of self care to say “no” to plans with friends or a request at work. Self care could look like limiting the amount of time you spend with certain people.
Self care may look like taking care of your physical self. If going to the salon to get a haircut or a manicure feels like an investment in yourself, then it might be a piece of your self care practice. I personally do NOT enjoy getting my nails done, but I do really like taking the time to put on lotion after a hot shower.
Self care may look like making healthy food choices or it may mean giving yourself permission to order takeout after a long day.
It is also important to consider what self care looks like on a daily basis versus weekly, monthly, and annually. A daily practice of self care may look like exercise, taking vitamins, limiting screen time, and drinking enough water. If our self care practice is limited to activities such as going to the salon and planning vacations, we are neglecting consistent, ongoing wellbeing. This is where we see the difference between reactive self care and proactive self care.
In reactive self care, I am taking care of myself in response to stress or struggle.
In proactive self care, I am taking care of myself in order to maintain a healthy mental state and set myself up to better handle stress when it comes.
Here are some examples of my self care practice:
Daily
❋ Drinking plenty of water
❋ Making my bed
❋ Exercise (or rest)
Weekly
❋ Thursday morning calls with a friend
❋ Planning and cooking a few healthy meals
❋ Getting outside in nature (preferably out of the city)
Monthly
❋ Book club with friends
❋ Organizing my space
Annually
❋ Planning trips with friends or family
❋ Purchasing new glasses and contact lenses
❋ Scheduling medical check-ups and appointments
Questions for Reflection
What in my life feels nourishing?
What in my life feels draining?
What does it look like to prioritize myself daily, weekly, and monthly?
What are some things in my life that would feel really good to let go of?
